Bringing (messy) meaningful conversations to work
With change a constant, prospects gloomy and business getting ever more difficult, it's time to rethink how to converse about some key topics in the flow of regular business
I don’t know about you, but I don’t recall having many deep conversations in the boardroom. Subjects like branding, ethics, purpose and politics are rarely addressed in the boardroom and, yet, I think they are absolutely strategic on a number of levels. A lot of people seem to be suffering from either tremendous fatigue, frustration or boredom. Hence the huge amount of disengagement at work which has underwritten the famed Great Resignation or the great reset, if not the quiet quitting. It behoves us all to consider more closely what actually matters, to act as if that were the case and bring our whole selves to work in order to engage in more meaningful conversations. It’s not the easy path, but the payoff will be proportionate to the depth of the conversations held in an appropriate manner and at the right times.
In today's fast-paced business world, it is easy to become caught up in the daily grind of tasks, targets and deadlines, leaving little time for meaningful conversations in the workplace. With the current economic slowdown and inflationary pressures, it’s clear that there’s a lot of pressure at work to perform, if not to survive. However, research has shown that engaging in purposeful dialogue can improve workplace relationships, increase productivity, and ultimately lead to better business outcomes. From the research published in 2021 by the American Psychologists Association, Nicholas Epley, PhD, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, reported that “[c]onnecting with others in meaningful ways tends to make people happier, and yet people also seem reluctant to engage in deeper and more meaningful conversation.” People are in search of this connection and are aware of the power of holding more meaty conversations. But whether it’s the reigning culture, a pressure on time or the fear of ‘going too far,’ it’s rare to see executives engaging in real exchanges. But what exactly constitutes a meaningful conversation at work, and why is it so important?
Turning meaningful into meaning-making
Meaningful conversations at work are those that go well beyond small talk or standard business exchanges (such as those around marketing campaigns, sales, logistics or budgets). Essentially, they move away from operational and transactional issues and instead delve into deeper topics related to things like personal development, ethics, politics and purpose. At their core, meaningful conversations result in meaning-making. These discussions can on occasion occur informally between colleagues at the proverbial water cooler or canteen. However, they are generally all too infrequent. And they’re even less frequent when it comes to high level meetings. Why? Because they generally don’t generate an immediate return. They take time (time = money) and they can be messy. Importantly, they imply getting into deeper, more personal zones. And for that to happen in any meaningful manner means being able to take off the strictly professional mask, show and share some vulnerability and authenticity, and possibly even expose your true self. A meaningful conversation involves active and deep listening (i.e. removal of the ego), mutual respect (humility to say we’re even), and a willingness to share one's own experiences and perspectives. Professor Epley suggested that “being aware that others also like meaningful conversation might lead you to spend less time in small talk and have more pleasant interactions as a result.”
The multiple benefits
The benefits of engaging in meaningful conversations at work are numerous and quite tangible. For one, they can help to build trust and rapport among colleagues, which can improve teamwork, overall morale and job satisfaction. Additionally, on a more pragmatic level, these types of conversations can help to uncover new insights and ideas that may not have been discovered through traditional means of communication such as email or memos. Meaningful conversations can provide an opportunity for professional development and growth, as individuals can learn from the experiences and expertise of their colleagues. The ones that touch the more sensitive topics such as the creation of an ethical framework, the definition of your three most deeply held values, attachment to relevant political issues or personal ties to the brand, the long-term benefits start to multiply.
The burgeoning need
In today's business world, I fundamentally believe that the need for meaningful conversations has become more urgent than ever. For instance, with the rise of remote work and virtual teams, it is increasingly difficult to maintain strong relationships and open lines of communication. However, it is precisely in these situations where meaningful conversations can make the most significant impact. By creating a space for dialogue and collaboration, teams can overcome the challenges of distance and build strong connections that lead to greater success. In particular, among the more challenging conversations is the ability to call out dysfunction or unattractive behaviours (i.e. where they might be tending toward unethical). But these types of conversations require time and an appropriate space, which will include having the right mindset.
Putting meaning into work
On another level, where so many people seem to be suffering what John Vervaeke describes as a crisis of meaning, we also need to feel like we belong and have a sense of purpose in what and why we’re doing what we’re doing. Given the widespread challenges to fill vacancies with top talent, engage and motivate existing talent, not to mention the difficulty to have employees make the effort to come into the office, the reason why we work is evermore crucial. But it’s not only about have a “raison d’être.” It’s about making sure that (a) every employee has a genuine and personal connection into that purpose and (b) they know how they are contributing to it. For people to have an authentic connection to their enterprise means, in the first place, opening up the dialogue into who we are and what is intrinsically important about the work we do. Granted some people would prefer just to obey orders, push paperclips or whip out widgets. However, for any leader intent on driving a dynamic team and building an enduring brand, the more genuine and open the discussion around purpose, the better the chance of creating a residual why that taps into everyone’s discretionary energy.
How to do them?
So how can one initiate and carry out meaningful conversations at work? The key is to be intentional and strategic in one's approach. First, it is essential to identify the right time and place for these conversations to occur. This may mean scheduling regular check-ins or finding natural opportunities to engage in conversation, such as during breaks, meals or team-building activities. To be sure, meaningful conversations cannot be happening all the time and there’s a time (or even multiple times) and a place to be countenancing more powerful exchanges. One can’t force fit them in, especially if it’s a new desire. Creating the environment and setting the context will be relevant. To begin with, it might mean hiring in an external facilitator. For sure, though, this type of culture change must come from the top with a genuineness that will accommodate the messiness and imperfections that are bound to occur.
Once the opportunity arises, it is essential to approach the conversation with an open mind and a candid desire to learn and connect. This may involve asking thoughtful questions, actively listening to the responses, and sharing one's own experiences and perspectives in a respectful manner. As Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella, has said, it’s about moving from a know-it-all attitude and enjoying a learn-it-all approach. It is also important to be aware of the power dynamics at play and to ensure that all voices are heard and valued equally. If you’re the boss, you’ll need to pay particular attention to the ‘boss bias’ (aka the HIPPO Effect*) to encourage maximum contributions.
It won’t be easy… in fact, it’ll likely be difficult
Of course, there are risks and limitations associated with engaging in meaningful conversations at work. For one, there is always the potential for misunderstandings or disagreements to arise, which can lead to tension and conflict. Additionally, some individuals may not be comfortable sharing personal information or discussing sensitive topics in a professional setting. Finally, there is the risk of overstepping boundaries or violating company policies, particularly around issues related to diversity, equity, and inclusion. But, despite all these risks, the key advantage is that by ‘risking’ to be personal, deep and vulnerable, you create a greater chance for connection and trust. A team that has gone through a serious challenge or managed to properly untangle a heated exchange will be the stronger for it once through to the other side. I liken it to the bond created by a rugby team that goes through a heartbreaking loss that regathers its resources to go back out rekindled with a renewed sense of closeness. The same is said for those in the military who go to war together, as in the Band of Brothers. Meaningful conversations can have a similarly positive effect on the connection between colleagues. Of course, for some people, such exchanges may be unappealing; but, done with care and empathy, that sense of self-selection is a powerful way to foster a healthy and connected culture.
Risk vs reward
I believe the benefits of meaningful conversations far outweigh the risks and provide a valuable long-term and lasting return on investment of time. During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, when we were locked down and Zooming or Teaming, it became patently obvious that you couldn’t just blunderbuss into work mode without first checking in with your interlocutor. It wasn’t just about noticing and getting over the embarrassment of the kid doing somersaults in the background or the cat that walks on your keyboard. It was good for bonding and it also helped check in on one’s state of mind. This empathic approach helped to build personal connections, which ultimately helped increase teamwork, engagement and productivity. I think it’s time to step and insert this healthy practice into your work, remote, distributed, hybrid or not.
In conclusion, meaningful conversations at work are not only important but essential for success in today's business world. The types of subjects that deserve to be surfaced should be intentionally brought into the boardroom. Time should be carved out to allow for these more profound encounters on topics that matter. By creating a space for dialogue and collaboration, businesses can build stronger relationships, uncover new ideas, and create a culture of belonging at a deeper level than merely being paid by the same payor.
What do you think? Are you holding meaningful conversations in your business? How have they gone? About what are they? If not, would you like to have more?
It behoves us all to consider more closely what actually matters, to act as if that were the case and bring our whole selves to work in order to engage in more meaningful conversations. It’s not the easy path, but the payoff will be proportionate to the depth of the conversations held in an appropriate manner and at the right times.
*The HIPPO Effect = A premium on the Highest Paid Person’s Opinion