How to hold or host a meaningful conversation in public

When there's an audience, inevitably the observation changes the state of the observed

I don’t know about you, but I remember when I first had to go on stage, when it really seemed to matter. And I remember freaking out. Sweating. Feeling nauseous. And then the worst thing happened after just a few moments… I froze. I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to say. It was a horrible moment. It taught me that you really need to be comfortable with your content, because if you don’t own it, it will in any event come out as inauthentic. I’ve never forgotten that experience. It’s something I smile about now that I have become a professional speaker. But it’s also something I recall when I see someone who’s not comfortable about speaking in public. For me, holding meaningful conversations in public is a key way to lead, to set the example and expose people to moving stories and important topics.

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Through the many years of running my podcasts, hosting panels and speaking or emceeing at events — both off and online — I have come to learn a great deal about how to hold a meaningful conversation when there is an audience on hand that is (or will be) listening. The fact that there’s a record button or people watching and listening to your exchange has an impact on those being observed. To the extent we’re aware, it’s quite normal; at least any quantic scientist will attest to that fact. What can happen is that we will put on a show, put up barriers and/or don masks. If it’s time constrained, we’ll know to rush in our bullet points. If it’s controversial, we’ll know to be on our guard, etc. But holding and modelling meaningful conversations in public is a key way to help lay the path toward elevating our society and bringing back civil and robust discourse and exchanges into our lives, both at work and at home.

How to do so? Well it depends. Naturally, there are nuances and differences to take into consideration, according to the context and the people involved. I will break down these points by format, since this largely conditions how to hold or host a conversation. 

Hosting a panel

If you are designated as the host of a panel, the first thing to consider is the topic and impact you (as the organizer) wish to cover. The IMPACT is a key consideration that is frequently left out of the equation. Too often, panels are bland, cozy or repetitive or all three. There’s rarely good engagement with the audience. What are you trying to achieve with the panel? What is the feeling you want the audience to have at the end? This is what I like to define to make the panel’s exchange meaningful. Secondly, of course, we must find the best panellists. These are best selected once you know what is the purpose of the panel. Again, too often, organisers will select the panellists opportunistically (or the panellists will be some kind of obligation, like a paying sponsor) rather than strategically. Another classic issue is diversity. We would rather have visible diversity than a diversity of thought. Finally, there is the host or emcee of the panel. From a production standpoint, the emcee can make or break the session as she is the one who is responsible for timing and flow. Beyond that, it is the emcee’s responsibility to create the alchemy that lands on the desired impact. In the prework, which is vital for the solid functioning of the panel on stage, the emcee must do her homework, to know each panellist, to understand their differentiable points of view on the topic on hand and to make sure that there is a dynamic and good flow in the exchange. To the extent you want to make the session meaningful, it can be useful as emcee to lay down a taster, for example, bringing in a poignant (and personal) anecdote if we want to bring the guards down. Being vulnerable or personal are good ways to bring the audience with you. Having a strong, bold — dare I say courageous — point of view is also useful.

In my experience, it is best to avoid the following mistakes:

• Don’t waste time having every panellist introduce themselves (the invitations to attend or event organisers should have done so beforehand). On the other hand, if you have a screen behind you, it’s a great idea to add the names and handles of the panellists (especially useful for those who socialise the event). Worst case, the emcee/moderator does a brief introduction of the panellists.

• Don’t let every panellist speak on every question. Seek the energy and best respondent for each question. This notion should be expressed in the pre-work to each of the panellists. It shouldn’t be about everyone speaking every time on every question.

Other things I suggest to do:

• Make sure to huddle in the green room (if one exists) beforehand with all the panellists and explain how you, as emcee, plan to handle the session. 

• Understand the WIIFM (what’s in it for me) for each of the panellists and recognise if it’s realistic or not. Adjust as needed! 

• If you want the event to be interactive, be clear with the audience how and where you are taking questions (e.g. on a special app, or a hashtag on Twitter). If the goal is audience participation, I like to have some form of audience involvement early on, for example, a show of hands.

  

Interviewing a guest on a podcast

Earlier in this Dialogos, I wrote about the effect that podcasts have been having on our conversation. I’ve been running my two podcasts (in English and en français) for 13 years now. Overall, between them, I’ve completed nearly 650 interviews. What it comes down to is a fastidious discipline and an enduring pleasure that I intend is shared by my guests, and hopefully the listeners as a result. Success at being a good podcast host requires a good deal of work. You can get some help from outside on the mechanical and technical aspects, but for the rest, it requires doing your homework in advance. For example, as prep, I make a habit of reading the book if I’m inviting an author onto my show. I make sure to put down concepts and, on occasion quotes, as part of my worksheet. However, I try to avoid speaking about the contents of the book. The idea is to stimulate the listeners to go get the author’s book! If the guest is not an author, the idea is to get a good understanding of the person’s typical narratives so I will listen to one or more podcasts on which she/he has previously featured. Most of the time, the purpose here is to avoid asking always the same old boring questions.

Oooh, that’s a great question 🤔

My goal, when I interview someone, is for them to have a meaningful time. I have a “secret” objective when I prepare each call. This is achieved when the interviewee says something like: “Oh, well, that’s an interesting question!” On balance, though, I want the interview to be less a Q&A and more a conversation. Not that it’s about sharing my perspective and content, but I want the flow to be natural, a little more like in real life. In so doing, I avoid having a script and will follow the guests down their rabbit holes. I will comment or build on what they’re saying and then I just stop speaking (at a natural moment for a pause) to allow the guest to rebound. To begin with, I used to worry if the guest would understand that the baton had been passed. It’s less evident than when you pose a question. But once I get the back and fro started, it flows easily. Most conversationalists get this. But sometimes, this technique bothers the guest. They can feel awkward or without words. In which cases, I need to double down and grab their attention better. Maybe I’ll need to come back to using more standard questions. Some guests will request that I send my questions in advance. In my mind, every time this happens, I wonder why they need the questions or subjects upfront. Is it because they have had a nasty investigative journalist experience in the past? Is it because they are lacking confidence or perhaps are fearful that they will come off sounding less knowledgeable about a topic, so believe they will need to swot up. Or maybe it’s political or unsettled at work? Or, perhaps they just feel the need to be in control?

Making it meaningful

To the extent, these conversations are recorded and then released on a different date, there’s always the option to edit. However, I prefer to keep the recording in its true authentic self. That said I’ll edit on very rare occasions if there’s been a glitch or I can make the guest sound better somehow. In order for the conversation to be powerful, I insist on having the camera on, even though I’m only interested in distributing the audio recording. By having the camera on, I can observe my guest, see how my questions or inputs are landing, and assess to what extent they are engaged. For example, if I see that my question or comment has not been clearly made, I’ll see it in their eyes and double down to try to make myself clearer.

Time please

Finally, it’s important to recognise the value of time. A conversation that is too time-constrained won’t allow for development of thoughts and ideas. I used to do episodes that were meant to cover the typical commute time (20 minutes), but that was frustrating since we never managed to delve satisfactorily into a topic. I tend to think that’s because my guests have so much to say (I seek out interesting individuals!). Because time is precious, though, I’m always attentive to bring the interview to a graceful end when the guest has a hard close. I’ve landed on a format that usually runs about an hour in total (with the post production). But the key point here is, that just like any standard conversation IRL, if you make it rushed, people will push to get their narrative out and struggle to listen because of the time pressure.

My two last tips about podcasting:

• Always have a little pre-recording chat to help put the guest at ease. I want the experience to be good, yet allow for room to pry and push into deeper (even unexplored) topics. I like to make sure that they thought to bring some water or hot tea/coffee on hand.

• You need to ensure that the tech is functioning on BOTH ends. Is there sound quality satisfactory. I shall never forget the time I did an interview with a significant CEO and had forgot to push the record button (sorry Nicolas!). On the tech front, another bugbear is making sure that no notifications are going off. Outside of the distraction for the speaker, it shows the audience to what extent the guest is submitting to the external world’s desires.

Live interviewing

If you are doing a LIVE interview (e.g., a Twitter Space or a room on Clubhouse), the principles of the pre-recordered podcast (above) hold. But there are several additional pointers needed:

Redundancy - Since it’s live, you may have issues that crop up, especially with the tech, and you’ve got no choice but to go on. Having a backup set of microphones is a good example of how to prepare for screw-ups that inevitably happen. If you’re using other supporting tech, such as sound clips or images, be sure to do a run through in advance. The redundancy in this case is coming with a backup to switch in.

Contingency - Similar to the tech redundancy, consider what could possibly go wrong in advance and anticipate possible solutions. Obviously, you don’t want to spend all your time thinking about plan Bs, but it’s good to consider in advance. For example, and especially, when you’re trying something new or treading into unexplored territories or topics, you will want to consider in advance what to do when things bug or go off piste.

Back channel - When the interview is live and online, it’s useful to set up a channel by which the interviewer and interviewee can exchange. Alternatively, depending on the scope and scale, you may have other allies in the audience who can send you, as interviewer, useful information. This was exactly the case in a webinar I emceed recently for my nephew and best friend, Mark, both of whom are based in Kharkiv and who launched MissionTo.org to provide on-the-street humanitarian aid (you can watch it here). I had a couple of individuals (including Dillon’s mum!) sending me Whatsapp messages to warn me of certain issues on the participant’s side.

Connecting - When you are interviewing someone on a live audience, assuming you are comfortable in front of an audience, it is worth remembering how often people are nervous about speaking in public. If you’re nervous as interviewer, you’ll need to figure out some useful ways to calm your own nerves. [A few good tips: go on a run before to expend extra physical energy; spend five minutes before going live breathing deeply or meditating; get your vocal chords warm; and stretch your jaw muscles]. As for making your guest calm, the little chat in the green room is key to connect. Gauge their energy. Connect into them. And don’t hesitate to bring some levity. Inform them of your general intention, i.e., to have a good experience (if that’s the case). Of course, if you’re planning a hostile interview, this is a whole other ballgame and would require another post. Meanwhile, whether the interview is live or not, being warm and friendly should not remove the possibility of pushing back, identifying paradoxes or contradictions in what’s been said, or diving into a particular point. My friend Charlie Gladstone put it nicely (albeit in a different context) in his new book, Do Team: you can be friendly, but not friends. If that’s your style, it's useful to warn your guest, without necessarily being submissive. Especially if you detect nerves or a sense of insecurity, be naturally calm, courteous and considerate. I call this being purposefully empathic.

Being emcee of an event

Being emcee of an event can be a cushy job because you are, generally, not expected to provide content other than presenting the next speaker. However, the emcee of an event can play a pivotal role. One of the masters of the job is my friend Oli Barrett, MBE, who brings his jovial personality and can-do attitude to every event. His balance of energy and humility has a habit of bringing out the best in everyone.

And, to do a bang-up job requires work too. As emcee you need to be chief timekeeper and the link between the AV and the stage. Depending on the size and nature of the event, the emcee can bring a flair to the introductions. Aside from providing logistical updates (when and where’s the coffee, etc.), the emcee can help weave a thread throughout the day. One of the qualities I like to bring as emcee is to provide a quick recap of the key (and most meaningful) points raised during the preceding speaker or panel’s session.

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Remember: Holding meaningful conversations in public are a key way to lead, to set the example and expose people to moving stories and important topics.