I recently read this article in UNHERD, titled “Why Baltimore didn’t defund the police,” that discussed the issue of policing in the US. What really caught my eye was that it had one paragraph that applies to so many OTHER topics these days. I’ve stripped out the specific arguments but you could insert similar propositions for other controversial topics.
“The debate is now absurdly binary: either you care about [ONE SIDE], or you care about the [OTHER SIDE]. Both these issues disproportionately affect the same demographics… But anyone hoping to be an accepted member of either the Left or the Right must exaggerate one issue and erase the other.”
This type of commentary characterizes so many subjects — specifically in the US such as abortion, gun rights, religious freedom, privacy rights, the culture war, vaccines, free market capitalism … In other countries, in Europe, say, you have religious freedoms, freedom of speech, Covid protocols, nationalism… and of course Brexit (for the UK).
My hypothesis is that many people put so much importance and staunch doggedness in their position that it becomes a threat to their very existence to have someone challenge, much less confront, their belief.
What do you think? Can you offer any other ideas?
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Sadly in the US, the media is at the forefront of delivering information and I feel they do more damage then good. Your title nails it!! Either you are with me or against...seems to be the mentality of many these days. Facts matter and sadly, facts has been put to the wayside, blurred or left completely out of reporting. There is also little accountability. Years ago I remember thinking, well if they say it in the news, then it must be true without having to further investigate others point of view placing all trust in the media delivering non bias news with integrity and facts. I believe it all starts with those who teach and lead. Here in the US maybe the focus is more positive news and less sensational. More kindness shown, I believe can have a great impact. Spreading kindness and bringing the attention to others such as the “Being An Alley Cat”! Such a great story!
It could be so very impactful in many communities.
Thanks for your supportive message, Denise. It is sad that we can't reliably believe the news... Maybe we never really could blindly believe in the past either (there's always a bias), but it surely feels that all pretense has been dropped from many media titles.
Ahhhh... while the problem might be binary and simple, I imagine that the causes are multifold and complex... What comes to mind first:
Tribalism. Within the global community, we need more than ever 'our' tribes to create a feeling of belonging. Identification with a tribe leads to ingroup-outgroup issues (binary again).
Goupthink. Fighting together for whichever the cause, within our small circles, prevents us from getting fresh points of view. We become less and less critical of our thinking and agree to attitudes and behaviours we would not normally condone if we wouldn't be part of the group.
The filter bubble. We're seeing more and more of what we've already seen and become intellectually isolated from different points of view. All social media and advertising strategies are part of this problem.
Confirmation Bias. All of the above funnels into us favouring and recalling what we already agree with, believe in and value. Hire those who put you on your pedestal and fire those who make your life tough.
Just the top of my head. I'm sure this list is endless...
I love this list, Lidewij... Surely there are other elements, such as competitiveness, the place of the ego, existential considerations...
There are many "warring factions"... I like to frame this as managing our paradoxes.
We are naturally paradoxical. Even in sleep, we have paradoxical (REM) and non-paradoxical (non-REM) phases...
At our heart, our core paradox is that we need to feel different (individuation) and yet belong (community). In this need to belong, we must eventually accept that we also DON'T belong. We can't belong to all or everything. It's neither desirable nor possible. But how to manage this "dumbbell," as Nassim Taleb might ask?
I believe a major part of our society's challenge is related to our inability to reconcile this major paradox. Too much individualism and not enough community (or dare I say Tribe?). When we think tribe, the problem is we think with blinders, animated by strong fear. Today, that fear has become essentially existential. To threaten my belief is to question my existence. Yet, if we don't feel like we can belong, we feel alone, lonely... and in a world of hyper narcissism this doesn't play well. Thoughts?
Many thoughts ;-). Yes, many more elements and all different lenses which might or might not play an important role for a given individual.
The same probably goes for the extent to which that core paradox is obstructing someone? Culture primes us there. I agree with you though, we also don't belong and we can't (and most people don't want to) belong to all. But if we do want to belong, it becomes of vital importance and we go a long way to obtain it. Studies of rejection show that thwarting the need to belong produces drastic and sometimes puzzling effects, including increases in aggression and self-destructive acts, and decreases in helpfulness, cooperation, self-control, and intelligent thought (Baumeister, 2012). It's really one of our core psychological needs.
And oh oh that ego... if only we would take ourselves a little less seriously, especially in those moments where it's uncomfortable and matters more... ;-)
Sadly in the US, the media is at the forefront of delivering information and I feel they do more damage then good. Your title nails it!! Either you are with me or against...seems to be the mentality of many these days. Facts matter and sadly, facts has been put to the wayside, blurred or left completely out of reporting. There is also little accountability. Years ago I remember thinking, well if they say it in the news, then it must be true without having to further investigate others point of view placing all trust in the media delivering non bias news with integrity and facts. I believe it all starts with those who teach and lead. Here in the US maybe the focus is more positive news and less sensational. More kindness shown, I believe can have a great impact. Spreading kindness and bringing the attention to others such as the “Being An Alley Cat”! Such a great story!
It could be so very impactful in many communities.
Thanks for your supportive message, Denise. It is sad that we can't reliably believe the news... Maybe we never really could blindly believe in the past either (there's always a bias), but it surely feels that all pretense has been dropped from many media titles.
Ahhhh... while the problem might be binary and simple, I imagine that the causes are multifold and complex... What comes to mind first:
Tribalism. Within the global community, we need more than ever 'our' tribes to create a feeling of belonging. Identification with a tribe leads to ingroup-outgroup issues (binary again).
Goupthink. Fighting together for whichever the cause, within our small circles, prevents us from getting fresh points of view. We become less and less critical of our thinking and agree to attitudes and behaviours we would not normally condone if we wouldn't be part of the group.
The filter bubble. We're seeing more and more of what we've already seen and become intellectually isolated from different points of view. All social media and advertising strategies are part of this problem.
Confirmation Bias. All of the above funnels into us favouring and recalling what we already agree with, believe in and value. Hire those who put you on your pedestal and fire those who make your life tough.
Just the top of my head. I'm sure this list is endless...
I love this list, Lidewij... Surely there are other elements, such as competitiveness, the place of the ego, existential considerations...
There are many "warring factions"... I like to frame this as managing our paradoxes.
We are naturally paradoxical. Even in sleep, we have paradoxical (REM) and non-paradoxical (non-REM) phases...
At our heart, our core paradox is that we need to feel different (individuation) and yet belong (community). In this need to belong, we must eventually accept that we also DON'T belong. We can't belong to all or everything. It's neither desirable nor possible. But how to manage this "dumbbell," as Nassim Taleb might ask?
I believe a major part of our society's challenge is related to our inability to reconcile this major paradox. Too much individualism and not enough community (or dare I say Tribe?). When we think tribe, the problem is we think with blinders, animated by strong fear. Today, that fear has become essentially existential. To threaten my belief is to question my existence. Yet, if we don't feel like we can belong, we feel alone, lonely... and in a world of hyper narcissism this doesn't play well. Thoughts?
Many thoughts ;-). Yes, many more elements and all different lenses which might or might not play an important role for a given individual.
The same probably goes for the extent to which that core paradox is obstructing someone? Culture primes us there. I agree with you though, we also don't belong and we can't (and most people don't want to) belong to all. But if we do want to belong, it becomes of vital importance and we go a long way to obtain it. Studies of rejection show that thwarting the need to belong produces drastic and sometimes puzzling effects, including increases in aggression and self-destructive acts, and decreases in helpfulness, cooperation, self-control, and intelligent thought (Baumeister, 2012). It's really one of our core psychological needs.
And oh oh that ego... if only we would take ourselves a little less seriously, especially in those moments where it's uncomfortable and matters more... ;-)
Maybe finding where you belong is part of f I nding who you are. If it were easy, maybe life wouldn't be as engaging?
f I nding, love it.