Have you seen a decline in our ability to hold civil exchanges? Yet, have you noticed our need for more meaningful conversations? Don’t you think it’s time we relearn how to have great conversations?
What I find most saddening, personally, is the loss of interesting debate and discussion at the dinner table. It seems that we're always just talking at each other... The biggest skill missing is the ability to listen without judgement or needing to bring the conversation back to oneself.
Hi Minter, great conversation starter!!! I think that [for a change] social media is not wholly to blame! My teenage 'kids' told me, to my great surprise, that they are a real minority in that most of their peers do not eat with their family - they all eat in separate rooms and times.
Fortunately, my eldest is studying A-level politics, so this provides some additional debating opportunity, but it is a worrying phenomenon indeed ...
Some subjects promote more debate than others. In today's world, it almost seems as science is up for debate too. Thanks for that insight about family meals... or the lack thereof. A sad reality.
Absolutely, in Fact I was just discussing with my teenage son how this lack of conversing has become prevalent in his age group. We were surmising as to why and one of our hypotheses was the practice of ghosting which is particularly pervasive on social media. Not some thing I had to deal with in my youth. What happened to the love of debates, holding salons? I cut my teeth at Procter & Gamble which had debate at the core of its culture. They believed that discussions led to better outcomes.
What a great insight, Kathleen. Love it. I will have a whole chapter dedicated to how social media / the internet has altered the course of conversation. I also have a section that will be looking at the role/value of conversation in the work space... I would love to tap into your experience at P&G. How were these conversations set up? Implicitly or explicitly on the agenda? Time constrained or not?
Happy to discuss. Yes, it was time constrained as P&G thought that brought discipline and depth of thinking to the discussion. Similar to the infamous 1-page requirement & format for all recommendations.
To note, as a manager you had to be able to argue the contrary position to your recommendation. If you could not, you were dismissed and “ordered” to think it through more thoroughly. P&G felt strongly that great decisions/recommendations were the result of thorough 360 thinking and from the whole category team.
A funny side note, When I joined Heinz as a SR Brand manager, I was shocked to receive early feedback that I was perceived as aggressive/asking too many questions. People on my team just wanted/expected me to tell them what to do, not question them as what in there opinion should be done. This was truly an eye opener to me and provided a better understanding of both the P&G culture I had left and the new Heinz culture I was joining.
The time constraint poses an interesting dilemma as I believe, while healthy in a business-minded environment because it helps us cut to the chase, it has a corresponding negative effect on listening skills and room for serendipitous exchanges...
What I find most saddening, personally, is the loss of interesting debate and discussion at the dinner table. It seems that we're always just talking at each other... The biggest skill missing is the ability to listen without judgement or needing to bring the conversation back to oneself.
Hi Minter, great conversation starter!!! I think that [for a change] social media is not wholly to blame! My teenage 'kids' told me, to my great surprise, that they are a real minority in that most of their peers do not eat with their family - they all eat in separate rooms and times.
Fortunately, my eldest is studying A-level politics, so this provides some additional debating opportunity, but it is a worrying phenomenon indeed ...
Some subjects promote more debate than others. In today's world, it almost seems as science is up for debate too. Thanks for that insight about family meals... or the lack thereof. A sad reality.
Absolutely, in Fact I was just discussing with my teenage son how this lack of conversing has become prevalent in his age group. We were surmising as to why and one of our hypotheses was the practice of ghosting which is particularly pervasive on social media. Not some thing I had to deal with in my youth. What happened to the love of debates, holding salons? I cut my teeth at Procter & Gamble which had debate at the core of its culture. They believed that discussions led to better outcomes.
What a great insight, Kathleen. Love it. I will have a whole chapter dedicated to how social media / the internet has altered the course of conversation. I also have a section that will be looking at the role/value of conversation in the work space... I would love to tap into your experience at P&G. How were these conversations set up? Implicitly or explicitly on the agenda? Time constrained or not?
Happy to discuss. Yes, it was time constrained as P&G thought that brought discipline and depth of thinking to the discussion. Similar to the infamous 1-page requirement & format for all recommendations.
To note, as a manager you had to be able to argue the contrary position to your recommendation. If you could not, you were dismissed and “ordered” to think it through more thoroughly. P&G felt strongly that great decisions/recommendations were the result of thorough 360 thinking and from the whole category team.
A funny side note, When I joined Heinz as a SR Brand manager, I was shocked to receive early feedback that I was perceived as aggressive/asking too many questions. People on my team just wanted/expected me to tell them what to do, not question them as what in there opinion should be done. This was truly an eye opener to me and provided a better understanding of both the P&G culture I had left and the new Heinz culture I was joining.
The time constraint poses an interesting dilemma as I believe, while healthy in a business-minded environment because it helps us cut to the chase, it has a corresponding negative effect on listening skills and room for serendipitous exchanges...
I completely agree with you for personal conversations it does not work well - unless you've both worked at P&G - ha!
Conversations include the risk of incivility.
Certain topics are riskier than others, for sure. The art is knowing which ones and where are the hot buttons!