For this thread, I was inspired by the bestselling author, Jim Collins, who argued that business schools teach their MBA students to formulate the best solution, whereas law schools teach their students to ask the best question.
This made me wonder, which profession best fosters good conversationalists?
Lawyers ask good questions
Hairdressers chat up their clients
Psychologists listen deeply
Journalists (that do their homework) glean good data
Actors make for storytellers
…
Which profession(s) am I missing?
COMMENT: At some level, trustworthiness becomes essential in the equation?
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Another profession crossed my mind: the negotiator. I've had the pleasure to interview two world famous negotiators (Chris Voss and Laurent Combalbert) and they both talked about using empathy and deep listening skills to understand better the person on the other side of the table or talking down someone from a ledge.
Love the Jim Collins argument. I think excellent listening is too often overlooked and is strong in all your initial professions listed - with a similar caveat for Journalists (if they write what they hear - but I would think most listen well).
We tend to think of good conversationalists doing most of the talking (often the storytellers) but really the best ones get the other person talking, using open questions, building rapport and I agree, very importantly.....trust.
I would add GOOD professional Interviewers (Parkinson, Bragg, Norton etc), strong in these traits, to the list.
I love that you've included the interviewers, Nigel. Part of being a good interviewer, starts with doing one's homework. Secondly, establishing a rapport with the interviewee preferably a bit before you head into the recording. Thirdly, being attentive to the body language and listening deeply to what's being said. Something I've been trying to work on in my interviewing is to shy away from pure Q&A and do more reformulating or bouncing off an answer with a comment that sparks further qualification or additional thoughts.
And of course, Coaches/ Mentors inspire clients to learn to ask their own questions by probing deeply into the fundamental elements of their belief systems. Coaches teach clients that the best answers ARE the questions.
Love it, Holly. Yes, if you know how to ask good questions (without judgement or signalling your opinion) is so important. I marvel at how just reformulating what you heard sparks people to speak.
It's funny but I think sales people if they really do their job correctly can be good conversationalists. LOL I should know I am a sales person...now I will admit I have never had someone say my goodness you are a great conversationalist...but I believe if a sales person listens, cares and empathizes the conversation can be amazing.
At some level, it ALWAYS depends on the quality of the individual, no matter the job title. There's a dictum that says that the best salespeople know that they have two ears and one mouth for a reason... At least, that was how I was trained as a salesperson LONG ago... I think in 'sales' it also depends on the management culture and targets that are set. It also depends on the sector. In a business-to-business situation, for example, where relationships are typically longer term and the network circles are tighter, it is best to aim to establish long-term trust as opposed to short-term goals. By being attentive, present and empathic, it's a winning combination, Elizabeth!
some taxi/Uber drivers are in my experience fun storytellers to listen to. It is either their life that is worth listening or their position: they meet people they’re not supposed to see again, sometimes at night, and you barely see their faces.
Indeed. I remember many years ago meeting a doctor driver in New York. Fascinating story. A few weeks ago in the Baltimore area, I met a man who is a completely obsessed about US Civil War history (but also modern history in general)... and he was tremendously well read. A veritable amateur historian who was driving Lyft/Uber in order to make money to go visit battlefields.
It's as if trust is an anchor, a mutual stabilizing factor. Without it, a conversation, especially on a tendentious topic, can quickly go off the rails.
Another profession crossed my mind: the negotiator. I've had the pleasure to interview two world famous negotiators (Chris Voss and Laurent Combalbert) and they both talked about using empathy and deep listening skills to understand better the person on the other side of the table or talking down someone from a ledge.
Love the Jim Collins argument. I think excellent listening is too often overlooked and is strong in all your initial professions listed - with a similar caveat for Journalists (if they write what they hear - but I would think most listen well).
We tend to think of good conversationalists doing most of the talking (often the storytellers) but really the best ones get the other person talking, using open questions, building rapport and I agree, very importantly.....trust.
I would add GOOD professional Interviewers (Parkinson, Bragg, Norton etc), strong in these traits, to the list.
I love that you've included the interviewers, Nigel. Part of being a good interviewer, starts with doing one's homework. Secondly, establishing a rapport with the interviewee preferably a bit before you head into the recording. Thirdly, being attentive to the body language and listening deeply to what's being said. Something I've been trying to work on in my interviewing is to shy away from pure Q&A and do more reformulating or bouncing off an answer with a comment that sparks further qualification or additional thoughts.
And of course, Coaches/ Mentors inspire clients to learn to ask their own questions by probing deeply into the fundamental elements of their belief systems. Coaches teach clients that the best answers ARE the questions.
Love it, Holly. Yes, if you know how to ask good questions (without judgement or signalling your opinion) is so important. I marvel at how just reformulating what you heard sparks people to speak.
It's funny but I think sales people if they really do their job correctly can be good conversationalists. LOL I should know I am a sales person...now I will admit I have never had someone say my goodness you are a great conversationalist...but I believe if a sales person listens, cares and empathizes the conversation can be amazing.
At some level, it ALWAYS depends on the quality of the individual, no matter the job title. There's a dictum that says that the best salespeople know that they have two ears and one mouth for a reason... At least, that was how I was trained as a salesperson LONG ago... I think in 'sales' it also depends on the management culture and targets that are set. It also depends on the sector. In a business-to-business situation, for example, where relationships are typically longer term and the network circles are tighter, it is best to aim to establish long-term trust as opposed to short-term goals. By being attentive, present and empathic, it's a winning combination, Elizabeth!
some taxi/Uber drivers are in my experience fun storytellers to listen to. It is either their life that is worth listening or their position: they meet people they’re not supposed to see again, sometimes at night, and you barely see their faces.
Indeed. I remember many years ago meeting a doctor driver in New York. Fascinating story. A few weeks ago in the Baltimore area, I met a man who is a completely obsessed about US Civil War history (but also modern history in general)... and he was tremendously well read. A veritable amateur historian who was driving Lyft/Uber in order to make money to go visit battlefields.
Trustworthiness seems essential at any level whatever the profession. If missing all conversation is built on sand…and becomes controversy.
It's as if trust is an anchor, a mutual stabilizing factor. Without it, a conversation, especially on a tendentious topic, can quickly go off the rails.
True friends foster the best conversation and dare to question you in the most fragile part of your ego, but there are very few true friends
The notion of friend is an important one to explore. I note that some strangers provide the best insights... even inadvertently.